If you have ever worried that someone might somehow discover that you are not as competent or capable, or perhaps you don’t deserve the role you have, despite evidence of your qualifications, your capabilities, or your successes, you are not alone. This experience, commonly referred to as Imposter Syndrome, can affect individuals across the board. It can show up in new jobs, creative pursuits, relationships or academic areas.
Despite how uncomfortable this is, it is important to understand that this is your brain’s way of protecting you.
Our brain is built to protect us:
One of the most important jobs for our brain is to keep us safe. If we think back to cave-people times, part of keeping us safe and ensuring we survived was to belong to a group. Being rejected or excluded could have life-threatening consequences. As a result, our brain is now wired to pay attention to social threats even though in this day and age, it does not mean death. Any possibility of criticism, rejection, or failure can activate the same fear response that once helped our ancestors stay alive.
When we begin to think we are an imposter and feel the anxiety that comes with it, it’s our brains trying to anticipate danger by scanning for any indication that we might be criticised or excluded.
Our brain likes to compare:
Our brain automatically compares and judges. The function of this is again to help us learn and understand our social environment so we can belong. However, in this day and age, comparisons can become problematic. It’s no longer about survival but rather comparisons based on what we might see on social media and LinkedIn profiles. We compare others’ achievements formed by highlight reels and then get consumed by our own supposed inferiority. Based on these comparisons, it can appear that everyone else knows what they are doing with their lives, while we are falling behind and struggling.
Our brain wants certainty:
Our brain treats uncertainty like a threat. As a result, when we are not sure about how we come across to people, or whether we will belong to a group, our brain starts to anticipate danger and tries to think about ways to mitigate it.
What might actually be happening when we experience imposter syndrome:
Underneath all those thoughts about being an imposter and getting caught out, we might be experiencing the following fears:
Fear of not belonging
Fear of experiencing shame and hurt
Fear of disappointing others
Yearning to be accepted
Moving forward from the Imposter story:
While experiencing imposter syndrome is not a sign of weakness, our brain, in its bid to be an overly helpful friend, can in fact lead us to doubt ourselves even when there is no valid reason. The goal is not to eliminate all self-doubt but rather learning to deal with them.
Notice and be aware of what your brain is telling you.
You don’t have to believe everything your mind tells you.
Thank your mind for trying to protect you.
Be curious about what it is trying to protect you from.
Ask yourself if you would judge a friend or loved one as harshly as you are yourself.
Be compassionate with yourself.
Being curious rather than critical can help us have more space to be able to respond appropriately.