Stress is a normal part of life. Usually, it’s a difficult week at work thanks to a deadline or perhaps a family illness or maybe moving house. But sometimes, the stress feels relentless. We wake up in the morning already thinking about our to-do lists. We scroll our phones taking in the memes and the news. We move from one responsibility to the next. We are always switched on with no time to just be. And so even though there might not be a major personal crisis, we are emotionally exhausted and unable to switch off mentally.
With everyday demands on our time and attention, the mental load builds. Over time, our brain and body start to be on alert, as if waiting for the next thing to drop. Even when there is a chance to relax, we might find it difficult to do so because our mind is focused on the next thing or consuming the next content.
Signs that Life Feels Mentally Relentless
While we are all different, some common signs include:
- Feeling mentally tired even after enough sleep
- Trouble concentrating on tasks
- Difficulty making decisions (or decision fatigue)
- Constantly worrying or overthinking
- Feeling overwhelmed by tasks that felt manageable previously
- Struggling to enjoy activities that were once pleasurable
- Increased irritability
- Feeling like you’re always playing catch up
These don’t have to be a diagnosable mental health disorder but rather a response to the life you’re living and a signal that it might be unsustainable.
What can you do about it?
Some people try to “push through”. They become more organised, try to be more productive, live healthier lifestyles, which adds to the to-do list, and then criticise themselves for not doing enough or being able to tick everything off that unending list.
Instead, when life feels relentless, there are some small things we can do:
1. Set clearer boundaries with work: Don’t check your emails outside of work if possible. Depending on your job, don’t take phone calls outside of work hours. Trust me, most of our jobs are not about life and death. When it is, it’s a different story.
2. Limit your social media and phone usage: The big tech folks have built these products to keep us hooked. We can choose if we want to give them our attention or use our attention wisely.
3. Reduce unnecessary commitments where possible: This doesn’t mean you don’t spend valuable time connecting with people, but perhaps think about where you are spending your time and energy and what you can let go of.
4. Make time for mindful moments during the day: Be intentional and take short periods of rest and be present with your senses in a non-judgemental and curious manner.
5. Reconnect with activities that provide meaning and/or genuine enjoyment: Whether that is yoga, playing with your kids, or reading a good book, make time for that.
The goal isn’t to eliminate stress completely, given that we live in a world with a lot of systemic difficulties. Rather, it is to create enough space so you are not just running on the hamster wheel of life and can create the life you want.
If it is becoming hard to navigate the mental load of life on your own, and the feelings of overwhelm are impacting your work or study, relationships, sleep and overall quality of life, please do reach out for further support. Together, we can help understand the patterns contributing to your mental load and ways to navigate this.